So... you want to be a biker?

The motorcycle community is as eclectic as any other. You probably heard it before: "It doesn't matter what you ride, as long as you ride." As much as I agree with that statement, it is also true that people who ride tend to hang out with others who ride similar models and/or have similar riding habits. Besides the old cruiser vs sport bikes debate, another "segregation" issue arises: motorcycle enthusiasts (or motorcyclists) vs bikers. How do you separate them? And, do you have to?

If you ask me the answers would be: easily and yes! So, let's start with a few basics:

1. If you only ride your bike when the weather is nice, you are not a biker.
2. If you think riding 500+ miles in one day is too much, you are not a biker. The exception to this rule would be if you have a medical condition or serious injury.
3. If you worry more about how clean your bike is than about how many miles you are riding, you are not a biker.
4. If your idea of being a biker is wearing as many pieces of Harley gear as you can possibly fit on your body or on your bike, you are not a biker.
5. If you cannot perform the most basic maintenance (such as oil change) on your bike, you are not a biker.

Now, let's move on to some more "advanced" concepts. What follows is an unspoken code of conduct, also known as the "Biker Commandments":

DON'T TAKE ANY BULL. Be kind to women, children and animals but don't take any bull. This is an essential part of being a biker. It has to do with respect and honor. Anyone can be a brash, quick-tempered lout. Be cool, stand tall and back up what you say with action.

NEVER LIE, CHEAT OR STEAL. another way of saying this is to always tell the truth. Bikers are always the greasy bad guys in movies, but every real biker knows that his word is his bond. Your word is all you have in life that is truly yours. Guard it carefully and be about something noble, for you are a true knight of the road.

DON'T SNITCH. If you see a wrong, right it yourself. If you are about anything, you'll take care of problems yourself and never feel the need to snitch someone off. Snitches are the lowest life forms on earth, right up there with bike thieves. This rule goes hand and hand with the next one...

DON'T SNIVEL. Absolutely no one likes or respects a sniveler. Another way to say this is to hold your mud. Still another way to think of it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Most of life's little inconveniences work themselves out whether you snivel or not. Keep your chin up, darn it. You're a biker, not some lowly mollusk.

NEVER SAY DIE AND NEVER GIVE UP. Whether it's in a fight, a debate, or a business deal, no matter how bad it gets, a biker never gives up. That's why you see a lot of wealthy bikers these days, cause they don't know how to quit in any element of their lives. In the biker world of rugged individualists, only the strong survive.

HELP OTHERS. When a brother or sister is broken down on the side of the road, stop and help them. Even moral support, if that is all that you can give, is better than riding on by. Remember life is about the journey, the ride, not getting there. You already are there and don't just help bikers, show the world that we are better than our image portrays us. Courtesy costs you nothing and gives you everything.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Do what you say you'll do, be there when you say you will. This is called integrity. This also goes back to standing for something. Like the song says. You got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

LIFE IS NOT A DRILL. Yeah, this isn't a dress rehearsal. This is life. Go out there and take big bites of it. You've got no time to lose and bikers don't stand around waiting for the party to come to them. You only go around once. Tomorrow you could be road kill thanks to a chain-smoker asleep at the wheel of his caddy. Live life now, make the most of each moment. This is not a drill.

All right, now let's review. You are a biker, a modern-day knight of the road. Protect the weak, walk tall and stand proud. Your word is your bond. Stick to your guns. Don't take any bull. Life is not a drill. Now go forth and ride. When in doubt, ride. That's what we do... ride. If you want to ride around in a Day-Glo Hawaiian shirt and sandals, go for it. But if you intend to look like a goot, at least don't act like a goot. These commandments are just a few broad strokes; there is a lot more to being a biker that buying a bike. If you just buy a bike, you are a motorcyclist. Being a biker is a way of life, a proud way of life we hold in high regard and with a burning passion for the open highway and for life.

Now ride, damn it. You Know Who You Are...